What I Want My Girls To Learn

Our children nowadays are deluged with a flood of information, and much of it has limited value if any in the development of them as individuals.   So looking back over some of my life experiences, here are some of the things I would like my children to learn and have the opportunity to experience for themselves.

This is just a short list, and I am sure as the girls grow up there will the other things I want to add but this is a start for them and a bucket list for me to help instil in them.

Being able to talk to anyone.

The ability to talk and really listen to a stranger in conversation is not only an important life skill but the gateway to rewarding relationships sometimes in the most surprising places.

The power of a simple daily plan.

Figure out at the beginning of each day the two or three important things you want to accomplish, and don't let the chaff distract you from them.  when you figure out how to do the last bit you can teach me.

Work is not about a salary (only).

So many people work for a living, and don't enjoy or have a passion for what they do. There is nothing like the feeling of accomplishment that comes from a job well done regardless of the pay or lack thereof or the acknowledgement or lack thereof that you got for doing it.

You can't count on luck.

Life isn’t a Lotto ticket. You can’t depend on good luck to succeed and be happy. The world is not out to get you but neither is it there to make everything a bed of roses. The only luck you can count on is the luck you make with your intellect and hard work.

The value of lots of experiences.

if you only try some things you only will ever have a chance to succeed in that little pool of opportunity.  The more things you attempt, the more quickly you learn what you really value.

The ability to learn from whatever happens.

No one person will follow you through life to tell you what you should have learned from what happened. sitting back after the success or defeat and reflecting about what can be learned from anything that happens is the key to lifelong learning.

The willingness to confront facts and take responsibility.

You only get full credit when you take responsibility. Facing harsh facts is never easy but is always essential. The question always reduces to “What can I do to positively affect this situation?”

How to spend money (wisely).

Money provides means but it doesn’t provide knowledge. While earning money is something almost everyone learns, learning how to handle it is too often forgotten. The ability to save, manage and invest money is necessary for the accumulation and effective use of money earned.

How to be bigger than circumstances or the limitations of others.

Petty people are never an adequate excuse to be petty. The noble are those who can maintain composure rise above their situation and act with dignity.

Resilience.

That is the ability to bounce back from setbacks and defeats, and to do so as quickly as possible. The ability to get back on your feet when you’ve been knocked down by life is crucial.

Its okay to make mistakes.

Everyone does at some time or the other.  You need to understand the mistake and learn from it, moving beyond the guilt and anger to grow from the experience.

These can all be all lessons taught in word and less directly by example. Some of them I am still learning myself. My commitment is to attempt to live up to being that example to you.

Who would you rather be like?

Much is being written at the moment over the comparison between Bill Gates and Steve Jobs, and some interesting points are bubbling to the surface.

There is no doubt that commercially both men were successful beyond the dreams of most of us, and if we are to consider purely commercial success or visionary contribution, Steve Job's Apple wins handsomely, and yet leading thinkers of the day, Gladwell amongst them, argue that in 50 years Jobs will be a footnote while Gates will be remembered in statues and history books.  Why you might ask? Well one of the fundamental difference between these gentlemen, neither of whom were popular in their organisations when they led them, was that at some point Bill Gates decided to step away and occupy himself in more philanthropic activities, driving such programmes as Malaria and HIV treatment in Africa and other parts of the world, while Jobs stuck to the  bitter end in pushing the value and growth of his remarkable company.

This transition for Gates was made easier by his leadership style that was always more delegatory, when compared to Jobs far more hands on approach.  Gates recruited and led a team of people who thought as he did, while Jobs managed and refereed fiercely opposed vibrant personalities.  These resulted in very different corporate cultures and the ramifications thereof will stay in those organisations for years to come.

The heritage that Bill Gates has left by consolidating and nurturing a team of like minded individuals speaks to a continuity of thought and to a large extent to a sustainability of the corporate identity.  But, it is unlikely to ever be able to make the kind of leaps that the dynamic Apple group would, purely because the out of the box thinking that that requires doesn't fit comfortably in most "apple pie" teams.  But it does create an organisation that survives leadership changes without trauma.  The fiery alternative is exciting and achieves incredible things, but if the leadership personality who balances and manages the personalties leaves, it can immolate itself in its own passion.

When you lead in your context or community, which of these leadership styles do you use.  I would argue that any living organisation requires both of these types of leaders at different times in its evolution, and that the rare individual who can master both is a treasure.  If, like me, you lack that skill then be alert to the need for the different styles and use them as and when necessary.

Good luck and have fun whether you are changing the world or keeping the home fires burning.